Mom's Resource: Mr. Mom

Father-Daughter Activities

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:17:00 GMT

1.Cook Something Up
Whether it's whipping up a batch of cookies or conquering a four-course meal, spending time in the kitchen with your daughter is an easy way to have fun together.

2. Picture This!
If you have a camera, take turns photographing things around the house and outdoors that represent her one-of-a-kind traits. Perhaps an image of her tennis shoes could signify her athletic spirit, or photo of a blooming flower might symbolize her beauty. Ask her to track down things that she appreciates the most about her family or friends as well.

3. Camp Out
Camping out with your daughter is a great chance to teach her some practical skills and learn more about each other. Plenty of parks offer accessible campsites with nearby bathrooms and even electrical hookups.

4. Hiking
There’s something about getting back to nature that enables parents and kids to bond. It could be the break from everyday surroundings. Maybe it’s the separation from the distractions of computers, games, phones, and friends. Regardless, getting outdoors together and hiking is a simple activity that can mean more than you imagined. From childhood onward, she’ll learn nature has some pretty cool hi-res graphics of its own all while she gets exercise and fresh air.

5. Movies
When we were their age, kid-friendly movies didn’t hit the big screen as often as today. Today’s movies keep kids engrossed while injecting below-the-radar humor for adults. You can find a lot of appropriate DVDs for her from an early age. Then after a few years, you can take her to the theater for new releases. And while there may not be as many great choices from our generation, you can still introduce them to her along the way.

6. Skating
Inline or ice, skating can be deceiving; it’s fun but you don’t realize how much exercise you’re getting from this low-impact workout. So gear up with plenty of pads for both of you and take to the ice or the trail. In addition to the fitness and reinforcement of taking care of oneself from just a few years old, you can actually chat and bond while participating.

7. Reading
When she’s young, reading to your daughter at bedtime lets her take comfort in hearing your voice spin a tale as she envisions happily ever after in her drifting mind. As she grows, you can let her read to you, boosting her self-esteem as she masters more challenging material. That can evolve to reading together when she’s a little older. She’ll learn to think critically and use her imagination too.

8. Painting
Kids’ creative minds are amazing. Too often, adults kill the creative process. Now, it’s time to encourage it. Give her an outlet for self-expression, exercise her imagination and build her confidence. From just a few years old you can start her with a simple set of nontoxic paints (watercolors, for example), and graduate to higher-grade supplies as she gets older. You don’t have to be a pro, just have fun painting your individual interpretations of a subject or go freestyle.

9. Shopping
If you thought baking was rough, you’ll have to dig deep to tolerate shopping. Remember, though: This could very well be one of her favorite pastimes, so if she’s willing to share it, be there. When she sees you take an interest, you’ll enjoy it too. This can begin long before she’s old enough to hit the malls on her own, and it’s better that way. You can have an influence on her spending decisions and what she wears (so long as you still let her be a young girl). She’ll realize it’s not a free-for-all and that choices have to be made.

10. Driving lessons
You ought to be preparing for this long before she graduates from car seat to driver’s seat. That’s because your driving habits and behavior will have an impact on how she develops her skills. With that in mind, once she has her temporary permit, allow her to practice in a stress-free area. Find a large, deserted area that’s free of obstacles and don’t throw any mental obstacles in her way either. She’ll be nervous enough without your criticism, so a little patience and understanding will have a lasting impression on her. Meanwhile, you can set the ground rules early (no eating/drinking, cell use, etc.) as she learns to be a responsible driver.

11. Daddy-Daughter Date
A daddy-daughter date doesn't have to entail specific activities, like dinner and a movie; it's more about emphasizing a special time for you and your daughter exclusively.

http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment_150/192c_top_10_list.html

Father-Son Activities

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:16:00 GMT

1. Camping
Getting back to nature is an age-old pastime that still has meaning today. Your son will learn self-reliance and appreciation of nature. And hey, your SUV will actually travel off paved roads for once. Your definition of camping might be setting up a tent, staying in a camper or even renting a cottage if you really can’t stand roughing it. Regardless, camping is especially meaningful if you live in an urban area; the calm and quiet of the woods can be downright therapeutic, if a little overwhelming at first. Your son might not get the idea right away and want to revert to his Game Boy, but be patient. Given a little time to adjust, he’ll probably have more fun at the lake and on the trails than he ever thought possible.

2. Sporting events
It may be one of the most popular father-son activities, but it’s also where a lot of guys sap the quality out of the experience. How many times have you gone to a sporting event only to have it tainted by a rude, drunk guy? It’s embarrassing to even be in his section. But here’s your chance to be a bigger man than the obnoxious drunk guy. Remember: You have to set the example of enthusiasm and team spirit without poor sportsmanship. It also helps to be in a kid-friendly atmosphere, so check out a college or amateur game. If they don’t offer free admission, it’s usually low-dough. You’ll probably be closer to the action, too.

3. Bicycling
Whether it’s on a road bike, mountain bike or hybrid, bicycling is great exercise for both of you. It’s relaxing to hit a bike trail away from traffic and you can bond with your son as you take in the scenery. It can be habit-forming, too. If your son takes a real interest in it, he just might continue biking into adulthood, and that’s a healthy habit you can be proud to have influenced.

4. Cooking
Your son should know there’s more to life than microwave burritos. If prefab food is the extent of your own culinary skills, it’s never too late to right the course. You can experiment and learn together. Cooking a meal -- a real meal -- is something that’s actually fun if you’re patient and willing to practice a little. Your son will soon realize that great-tasting meals are possible with healthy ingredients. This is another habit he can develop further as he matures; everyone knows women dig guys who can cook.

5. Working around the house
Show him how things work around the house, as well as how they’re maintained and repaired. You’ll obviously do most of the work, but let him watch while you explain the process. He’ll respect you for being able to solve problems, and you’ll lay the foundation for him to do the same. By the time he’s old enough to take on light tasks by himself, he’ll have learned the responsibility and value of maintaining his home.

6. Automotive maintenance
Teaching your son the basics of automotive care is valuable on many levels. First, he probably digs cars anyway, so it’ll be an easy way to bond. Second, when he gets his own wheels, he’ll already know the basics of car care and the consequences if he doesn’t perform maintenance.

7. Fishing or hunting
Fishing and hunting don’t appeal to everyone, so it’s really a question of preference. Are they a good fit for you and your son? These activities can be fun and relaxing, but they also demand discipline and responsibility. If you do hunt, we recommend you avoid the “canned hunting” of game farms, where you’re often guaranteed a kill. It’s not the authentic experience, and it could give your son the idea that you can always buy a winning outcome.

8. Playing with radio-controlled vehicles
If you haven’t considered a radio-controlled car, plane or boat, give one a go. You’ll probably find it easy to pick up and tough to stop -- it can be really addictive. Meanwhile, your son’s hand-eye coordination will be tested and improved while he practices teamwork and good sportsmanship around you and other RC hobbyists. Some of the most basic RC toys are really inexpensive and will give your son a fun introduction to the pastime. As he grows, the vehicles can grow with him, getting more challenging along the way.

9. Playing sports
The lessons he’ll learn include sportsmanship, coordination, discipline, and teamwork. It’ll all be lost on him, however, if you don’t set the standard yourself. It’s not about winning or losing for either of you; it’s about teaching the aforementioned skills while getting some exercise. Let your son have a say in which sport you choose to play. Forcing one on him will result in diminished returns; he won’t enjoy it as much and he’ll get less out of the whole experience.

8 Ways to Get Dad More Involved

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:45:00 GMT

Nearly 90 percent of couples experience an increase in stress after their children are born, and the number one stress is the division of labor around the house. Unfortunately, even couples who generally share responsibilities tend to slip into traditional roles, which means that you'll probably end up doing more of the housework and child care than your partner. Research shows that the more equitably domestic tasks are distributed, the happier wives (and husbands) are with their marriages. In other words, resolving these issues may be critical to the health and success of your relationship.

1. Look at it from his perspective.
Researchers have found that women tend to measure what their husbands do around the house against what they do. Not surprisingly, on that kind of scale, most men fail miserably. Men themselves, though, compare what they do to what their fathers -- and sometimes even their male friends and coworkers -- do. Using this standard, most husbands feel pretty satisfied with themselves and their contributions around the house.

2. Adjust your standards.
Let's face it, men and women often have very different standards. "When my husband says the kitchen is clean, he means that the dishes are in the dishwasher," says one mother. "The counter can still be filthy and the floor can still be covered with dirt." Adjusting your standards to his level doesn't mean that the kids will be wearing the same clothes every day. Also, there are a lot of different ways to change diapers, play, teach and entertain the children. Yours isn't always the right one. The fact is that if you adjust your standards, your husband will be more involved in the household and with the kids. No child ever suffered long-term trauma by having her diaper put on a bit looser than it should be or by going out of the house with oatmeal stuck in her hair. It's hard to shift standards because for many women, attention to domestic issues is part of the way they define themselves.

3. Don't ask for help.
Just as men need to rethink their family roles as "assistants" to mothers, women need to change their ideas about what's reasonable to expect from their partners. Asking him for "help" only reinforces the view that he shouldn't have much responsibility for the care and management of children. Of course, that doesn't mean you shouldn't ask him to do his share. But asking for "help" makes it seem like whatever he's "helping" with is really your job and that you should be grateful.

4. Go on strike.
The days of the "second shift" where women try to do it all -- work outside all day and do all the work at home, too -- are over. Let your spouse or partner know that you have limits. A well timed "Your arm's not broken, do it yourself" may occasionally be a helpful reminder that men and women are partners in parenting.

5. Be (a little) insincere.
As a group, men generally dislike doing things that make them feel incompetent. At the same time, they're suckers for compliments. So, one of the best ways to get your partner to do something he doesn't like to do is to praise him even when you know you could do it better. Television characters from Lucy Ricardo to Roseanne Conner figured this out long ago, and the same applies in real life: sweet-talk soothes, nagging only irritates. Tell him what a great job he's doing already and ask him to do the same thing again. Indirect compliments are effective too -- let him hear you raving to a friend about how well he's done some recent task. Sound manipulative? Maybe, but it works. The more he feels that you're noticing and appreciating his efforts, the more he'll do.

6. Don't be a gatekeeper.
Many women are so intent on keeping control of the household that they don't leave enough space for their partners to participate. For other women, control is not the issue; they just assume that men are either uninterested or incompetent. And men get the message -- many find it easier to just back off. Your partner is part of the first generation of fathers to be seriously expected to take an active role in the home. Even if you know how to stop the baby from crying, let your partner try to figure it out for himself before jumping in. Men and women have different approaches to the same issue, and fathers need the confidence that only comes with practice. Letting him develop his own parenting style will also give your family twice as many baby-care options.

7. Share and share alike.
No single job in your home is any more valuable than any other, so assign everything to the most qualified person. Make a list of everything that needs to get done. If you're good at something or like to do it, it's yours. (At the same time, your partner gets to do his chores his way.)

8. Redefine work.
When dividing up responsibilities, many couples have trouble defining what, exactly, the term "work" means. In many families, for example, couples err by neglecting to give parenting the same weight as ordinary chores. Yet child care takes at least as much time, and may be just as tiring, as shopping and mopping. So even if your partner is wrestling with the baby while you're making dinner, things might not be as unequal as they seem. True, he may be having more fun, but somebody has to do it. And if he plays with the baby today, he can fix dinner tomorrow while you wrestle.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/mom/structure/0,,qtn5,00.html