Mom's Resource: Bullying

Cyberbullying Statistics

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:45:00 GMT

How common is cyberbullying?
Research shows that almost one in four children between the ages of 11 and 19 have been the victim of cyberbullying. The same research shows that approximately 65 percent of kids know of someone who has been cyberbullied.

The statistics are frightening:

   *18% of students in grades 6-8 said they had been cyberbullied at least once in the last couple of months; and 6% said it had happened to them 2 or more times (Kowalski et al., 2005);

   *11% of students in grades 6-8 said they had cyberbullied another person at least once in the last couple of months and 2% said they had done it two or more times (Kowalski et al., 2005);

   *19% of regular Internet users between the ages of 10 and 17 reported being involved in online aggression; 15% had been aggressors, and 7% had been targets; 3% were both aggressors and targets (Ybarra & Mitchell, 2004);

*17% of 6-11 year olds and 36% of 12-17 year olds reported that someone said threatening or embarrassing things about them in e-mails, instant messages, web sites, chat rooms or text messages (Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, 2006);

*Cyberbullying has increased dramatically in recent years. In nationally representative surveys of 10-17 year-olds, twice as many children and youth indicated they had been victims and perpetrators of online harassment in 2005 than in1999/2000 (Wolak, Mitchell, & Finkelhor, 2006).

Who are the victims and perpetrators of cyberbullying – boys or girls?

   *Research suggests girls are about twice as likely as boys to be victims or perpetrators of cyberbullying.

   *Of students who had been cyberbullied relatively frequently—at least twice in the months preceding the study—the same research shows that:

   *62% of students said that they had been cyberbullied by another student at school and 46% had been cyberbullied by a friend;

   *55% didn't know who had cyberbullied them.

Of those students who admitted cyberbullying others relatively frequently:

*60% had cyberbullied another student at school and 56% had cyberbullied a friend.
(Kowalski et al., 2005 grades 6-8)

Where are children and youth cyber bullied?

*A telephone survey of preteens (6-11 year-olds) and teens (12-17 year-olds) revealed that:

*45% of preteens and 30% of teens who’d been cyberbullied received the menacing messages while at school;

*44% of preteens and 70% of teens who’d been cyberbullied received the menacing messages at home;

*34% of preteens and 25% of teens who’d been cyberbullied received the menacing messages while at a friend's house.

(Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, 2006).

Do children tell others if they are cyberbullied?
T

he same survey found that:

*51% of preteens and 35% of teens who’d been cyberbullied told their parents;

*27% of preteens and only 9% of teens who’d been cyberbullied told a teacher;

*44% of preteens and 72% of teens who’d been cyberbullied told a friend;

*31% of preteens and 35% of teens who’d been cyberbullied told a brother or sister;

*16% of preteens and teens who’d been cyberbullied told no one.

(Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, 2006)

http://www.cafeaspira.com/Cyberbullying_facts.html

Ways to Prevent and Stop CYBER Bullying

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:31:00 GMT

Talk to your child
Caution them about responding "in kind." This is not a time for them to lash out or start a cyberwar themselves. See if they think they know the identity of the cyberbully or cyberbullies. See if this is related to an offline bullying situation, and deal with that quickly. And don't confuse the language most kids use online with cyberbullying. It may be shocking to us, but unless it is shocking to your child, it's not cyberbullying.

Ignore it
A one time, seemingly unthreatening act, like a prank or mild teasing should probably be ignored. (If it's a threat, you must report it.) At the same time, you may want to consider using some preventive measures:

Restrict the people who can send you communications
Consider restricting all incoming communications to pre-approved senders, such as those on your child's buddy list. (If the cyberbully is someone on their buddy list, though, this method won't help. In that case the cyberbully will have to be removed from the buddy list and/or blocked.)

Restrict others from being able to add your child to their buddy list
Cyberbullies track when your child is online by using buddy lists, and similar tracking programs. It will let them know when one of their "buddies" is online, when they are inactive and, in some cases, where they are. This is like adding a tracking device to your child's online ankle, allowing their cyberbullies to find them more easily and target them more effectively. This feature is usually found in the privacy settings or parental controls of a communications program.

Google your child
Make sure that the cyberbully isn't posting attacks online. When you get an early warning of a cyberbullying campaign, it is essential that you keep an eye on your child's screen name, nick names, full name, address, telephone and cell numbers and Web sites. You can also set up an "alert" on Google to notify you whenever anything about your child is posted online. To learn more about "Googling" yourself or your child, read "Google Yourself!"

Block the sender
Someone who seems aggressive, or makes you uncomfortable and does not respond to verbal please or formal warnings should be blocked. This way, they will not be able to know when you are online or be able to contact you through instant messaging. Even if the communicates are not particularly aggressive or threatening, if they are annoying or, block the sender. (Most ISPs and instant messaging programs have a blocking feature to allow you to prevent the sender from getting through.)

"Warn" the sender
If the cyberbully uses another screen name to avoid the block , otherwise manages to get through or around the block or communicates through others, "warn" them, or "notify" the ISP. (This is usually a button on the IM application.) This creates a record of the incident for later review, and if the person is warned enough, they can lose their ISP or instant messenger account. (Unfortunately, many cyberbullies use "warning wars" or "notify wars" to harass their victims, by making it appear the victim is really the cyberbully. This is a method of cyberbullying by proxy, getting the ISP to be an unwitting accomplice of the cyberbullying.)

Report to ISP
Most cyberbullying and harassment incidents violate the ISP's terms of service. These are typically called a "TOS violation" (for a "terms of service" violation, and can have serious consequences for the account holder. Many ISPs will close a cyberbully's account (which will also close their parents' household account in most cases.) You should report this to the sender's ISP, not yours. (For more information about how to make a report, read "Making a Report to Their ISP." If you use a monitoring software, like Spectorsoft, this is much easier.)

If your child's account has been hacked or their password compromised, or if someone is posing as your child, you should make a formal report to your ISP as well. You can call them or send an e-mail to their security department (NOT their terms of service report line). But before changing your password, you should scan your computer for any hacking programs or spyware, such as a Trojan horse. If one is on your computer, the cyberbully may be able to access the new password. Most good anti-virus programs can find and remove a hacking program. All spyware applications can. We recommend SpyBot Search and Destroy (a freeware) or Ad-Aware (by Lavasoft, they have a free "lite" program).

Report to School
Most cases of cyberbullying occur off school grounds and outside of school hours. In the United States , often the school has no legal authority to take action relating to an off-premises and off-hours activity, even if it has an impact on the welfare of their students. The laws are tricky, and vary jurisdiction by jurisdiction. So while you should notify the school (especially if your child suspects whom is behind the attacks), they may not be able to take disciplinary action. They can keep any eye on the situation in school, however. And since many cyberbullying incidents are combined with offline bullying incidents, your child may be safer because of the report.

Also, while the school may have limited authority over disciplining the cyberbully, they can call the parents in and try and mediate the situation. They can also institute an educational and awareness program to help stop further cyberbullying by students, and to help educate parents about the problem.

Report to Police
Someone who threatens you physically, who is posting details about your or your child's offline contact information or instigating a cyberbullying by proxy campaign should be reported to the police. (Although you should err on the side of caution and report anything that worries you.) Using a monitoring program, such as Spectorsoft, can facilitate the investigation and any eventual prosecution by collecting and preserving electronic evidence. Print-outs, while helpful in explaining the situation, are generally not admissible evidence.) If you feel like your child, you or someone you know is in danger, contact the police immediately and cut off contact with this person or user, staying offline if need be until you are otherwise instructed. Do not install any programs, or remove any programs or take other remedial action on your computer or communication device during this process. It may adversely affect the investigation and any eventual prosecution.

Take Legal Action
Many cases of cyberbullying (like their adult cyber-harassment equivalent) are not criminal. They may come close to violating the law, but may not cross the line. Most of the time, the threat of closing their ISP or instant messaging account is enough to make things stop. But sometimes, either because the parents want to make an example of the cyberbully or because it isn't stopping, lawyers need to be brought in. It may also be the only way you can find out whom is behind the attacks.

Think carefully before you decide to take this kind of action. Even if you win in the end, it may take you two or three years to get there and cost you tens of thousands of dollars. You may be angry enough to start it, but make sure that you have something more than anger to sustain the long months and years of litigation.

When and How to Talk to the Parent of a Child Who is Bullying Yours

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:28:00 GMT

There is not a manual for how to handle conflict between your child and another. Although we should not interfere with every argument or minor conflict, there may be times when contacting the other parent is necessary. It's about knowing when and how to approach the other parent. While some may welcome the conversation, some will become angry and/or offended. This is a general guide as to when and how to approach the other parent.

Bullying is a big problem, not only at school but at the community park. Anti-bullying laws may be in schools to help protect your child but outside of school, going to the parent is a must. Bullying is one of the things that can not and should not be tolerated by any means. If your child is the victim of a bully, it's almost always a good idea to enlist the help of the other parent.

When the conflict turns violent. If you or your child believe that bodily harm may result, call the parents. In some cases local authorities may need be involved. This is especially true if the other child has already turned to violence. Treat threats in the same manner. This should be taken very seriously, and if the parent simply dismisses this behavior you may have to turn it over anyway. If the child attends the same school, you should let school officials know what is going on and to be alert. This is true even if the threats or violence did not occur there, it may spill over.

It can be hard to hear that your child is doing or saying inappropriate things, keep this in mind when you talk to the other parent. Check your emotions at the door and approach in a non confrontational way. Let the other parent know that you are sure that they are not aware of the problem and you are sorry that you have to meet them under the circumstances, but..., and continue. Many times, you will find that the parent is unaware that their child is behaving in this manner.

You may run into a parent with a bad attitude, that either gets angry or says that their kid is "just being a kid". For the parent that isn't taking it seriously, just add, "I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal but myself and my child are really concerned about this." Sometimes, that just may be enough.When the parent becomes confrontational, end the conversation or simply leave. You could be putting yourself in harms way. Do not be bullied by another parent. To put an end to their child's behavior in this case I strongly recommend bringing in a third party. The important thing is that you stop your child from being harassed and bullied by another child, even if that means being the bad guy.

Sadly, we have seen the outcome of children that have been relentlessly bullied and our hearts go out to these families. If you are still not getting results from the school or authorities, do not just let it be. We're our children's advocates. Also, keep in mind and make sure that your child isn't the one doing the bullying.

Signs of Bullying

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:04:00 GMT

Unless your child tells you about bullying — or has visible bruises or injuries — it can be difficult to figure out if it's happening.

But there are some warning signs. You might notice your child acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things that he or she usually enjoys. When kids seem moodier or more easily upset than usual, or when they start avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus to school, it may be because of a bully.

If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to open up, find opportunities to bring up the issue in a more roundabout way. For instance, you might see a situation on a TV show and use it as a conversation starter, asking "What do you think of this?" or "What do you think that person should have done?" This might lead to questions like: "Have you ever seen this happen?" or "Have you ever experienced this?" You might want to talk about any experiences you or another family member had at that age.

Let your child know that if he or she is being bullied — or sees it happening to someone else — it's important to talk to someone about it, whether it's you, another adult (a teacher, school counselor, or family friend), or a sibling.

Symptoms that a child might be a victim of bullying:

   *acts moody, sullen, or withdraws from family interaction
   *becomes depressed
   *loses interest in school work, or grades drop
   *loses appetite or has difficulty getting to sleep
   *waits to use the bathroom at home
   *arrives home with torn clothes, unexplained bruises
   *asks for extra money for school lunch or supplies, extra allowance
   *refuses to go to school (15 percent of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school)
   *wants to carry a protection item, such as a knife

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#

http://www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs570w.htm

2009 Facts on Bullying

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:55:00 GMT

If it seems like bullying is getting worst you are probably right. It seems to be happening at earlier ages and with more frequency. How to stop cyber bullying is also on the increase. Here are some bullying statistics, cyber bullying statistics and school bullying statistics that will open your eyes to the facts about bullying today.

While there is no place safe from bullying there are areas where bullying is worse. School bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics in 2007 the five top worst states to live in to avoid bullies in K – 12 were: 1. California, 2. New York, 3. Illinois, 4. Pennsylvania, 5, Washington.

School bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics show the 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally and physically.

When it comes to school bullying statistics of high school students, 15 per cent reported one to three bullying incidents in the last month and 3.4 per cent 10 times or more. Cyber bullying statistics are being compiled.

23 per cent of elementary students reported being bullied one to three times in the last month school bullying statistics say. Cyber bullying statistics are not yet available for this group.

Recent bullying statistics admit that half of all bullying incidents go unreported. Cyber bullying statistics indicate even less of these are reported.

100,000 students carry a gun to school bullying statistics say.

In a recent study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. Cyber bullying statistics reveal similar numbers. And 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse.

SCHOOL BULLYING STATISTICS

*Thirty percent (30%) of U.S. students in grades six through ten are involved in moderate or frequent bullying — as bullies, as victims, or as both — according to the results of the first national school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics survey on this subject.

*School bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics are increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide. Case studies of the shooting at Colombine High School and other U.S. schools have suggested that bullying was a factor in many of the incidents.

RECENT SCHOOL BULLYING STATISTICS SHOW THAT:

*1 out of 4 kids is Bullied. An American Justice Department school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics studies shows that this month 1 out of every 4 kids will be abused by another youth.

*School bullying statistics surveys show that 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically. Cyber bullying statistic are rapidly approaching similar numbers.

*In a recent school bullying statistics study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. And 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse. Many have tried to stop cyber bullying according to cyber bullying statistics.

*1 out of 5 kids on a school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics study admit to being a bully, or doing some “Bullying.”

*Each day 160,000 students miss school for fear of being bullied.

*A school bullying statistics reveals that 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.

*100,000 students carry a gun to school.

*28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home.

*A school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools.

*The same school bullying statictics and cyber bullying statistics poll also showed that 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

*More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school.

*Playground school bullying statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention - 4%. Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.

ACCORDING TO THE BUREAU OF JUSTICE SCHOOL BULLYING STATISTICS AND CYBER BULLYING STATISTICS - School Crime and Safety:

*46% of males, and 26% of females reported they had been in physical fights according to the school bullying statistics.

*The school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics indicated that those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.

   *The school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics went on to say that teenagers say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings
   — 87% said shootings are motivated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.”
   — 86% said, “other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them” causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.

   *Students recognize that being a victim of abuse at home or witnessing others being abused at home may cause violence in school according to recent school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics.
   — 61% said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical abuse at home.
   — 54% said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.

*The school bullying statistics and cyber bullying statistics showed that students say their schools are not safe.

http://www.how-to-stop-bullying.com/bullyingstatistics.html

Steps Children Can Take to Help Stop Bullying

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:43:00 GMT

Here are some strategies to discuss with kids that can help improve the situation and make them feel better:

1. Avoid the bully and use the buddy system.

Use a different bathroom if a bully is nearby and don't go to your locker when there is nobody around. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully. Buddy up with a friend on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess — wherever the bully is. Offer to do the same for a friend.
2. Hold the anger.

It's natural to get upset by the bully, but that's what bullies thrive on. It makes them feel more powerful. Practice not reacting by crying or looking red or upset. It takes a lot of practice, but it's a useful skill for keeping off of a bully's radar. Sometimes kids find it useful to practice "cool down" strategies such as counting to 10, writing down their angry words, taking deep breaths or walking away. Sometimes the best thing to do is to teach kids to wear a "poker face" until they are clear of any danger (smiling or laughing may provoke the bully).
3. Act brave, walk away, and ignore the bully.

Firmly and clearly tell the bully to stop, then walk away. Practice ways to ignore the hurtful remarks, like acting uninterested or texting someone on your cell phone. By ignoring the bully, you're showing that you don't care. Eventually, the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.
4. Tell an adult.

Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school can all help stop bullying.
5. Talk about it.

Talk to someone you trust, such as a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, or friend. They may offer some helpful suggestions, and even if they can't fix the situation, it may help you feel a little less alone.
6. Remove the incentives.

If the bully is demanding your lunch money, start bringing your lunch. If he's trying to get your music player, don't bring it to school.

Steps Parents Can Take to Help Their Children With Bullying

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:36:00 GMT

If your child tells you about a bully, focus on offering comfort and support, no matter how upset you are. Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying. They feel embarrassed and ashamed that it's happening. They worry that their parents will be disappointed.Sometimes kids feel like it's their own fault, that if they looked or acted differently it wouldn't be happening. Sometimes they're scared that if the bully finds out that they told, it will get worse. Others are worried that their parents won't believe them or do anything about it. Or kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight back when they're scared to.

Praise your child for being brave enough to talk about it. Remind your child that he or she isn't alone — a lot of people get bullied at some point. Emphasize that it's the bully who is behaving badly — not your child. Reassure your child that you will figure out what to do about it together.

Sometimes an older sibling or friend can help deal with the situation. It may help your daughter to hear how the older sister she idolizes was teased about her braces and how she dealt with it. An older sibling or friend may also be able to give you some perspective on what's happening at school, or wherever the bullying is happening, and help you figure out the best solution.

Take it seriously if your hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child told. Sometimes it's useful to approach the bully's parents. In other cases, teachers or counselors are the best ones to contact first. If you've tried those methods and still want to speak to the bullying child's parents, it's best to do so in a context where a school official, such as a counselor, can mediate.

Many states have bullying laws and policies. Find out about the laws in your community. In certain cases, if you have serious concerns about your child's safety, you may need to contact legal authorities.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#